20 hours which i will never will forget

Wednesday, 18th October 11 PM - Calcutta Airport

Clocks ticks 11 PM at the satyam iway in the Calcutta Domestic terminal. As Usual, Sleep Eludes me and i decide to idle away another hour or two typing out this blog. Killing time had become my favourite pas-time these days. Things weren't the same a month ago. My Last encounter with the Calcutta airport was a painful and forgettable experience. Having exageratted those times of being a very significant break in my career, i went thro (or rather inflicted on myself) lotsa pressure and pain which were rather unwarrented. Looking back makes things sound childish and stupid, but i really required to go through that to understand what certain 'things' meant to me.

It all began in 2005 October, when HLL requested me to do spend my summers with them(lol). As the first guy in my course to sign-out with an offer, It was almost like a dream come true for me. After a wonderful stint in thir bangalore beverages [BrookeBond Chai ... I wud have prefered other nice beverages :)) ] division, i was a offered a PPO(pre placement offer, the most hyped up lingo in a b-skool life). I had to appear for a final interview with some top management guys before being given a final offer.

Xactly one month back ...

Monday, 18th September 6:00 PM - Chennai Airport

I was leaving chennai for my HLL interview which was supposed to happen on the 19th of Sep. I had spoken to many of my seniors, friends and my boss, all of whom were almost certain of my conversion (again a b-skool lingo for cracking the interview). I was positive, but my confidence and the usual gut feel was sadly missing. I am not adept at xtra sensory perception, but more often my intuitions have always beeen astounding. It was disturbing, but i had to leave my intuitions behind and proceed to complete with what i have started 10 months back.

I would not call it a great start, with rains pouring down continuously in Mumabai(which is not a rareity these days). Delayed in air by 2 hours, i proceeded to the car getting myself complete drenched in the process. Hotel Supreme in Colaba ... Sounds Nice .... I checked in to what sounded like a rocking pub 15 minutes back in horror(dont doubt my intuitions now!!). It looked very dark and dingy, which was so untypical of HLL's posh and psued style of accomodation. During my summer internship, I used to be put up in some lovely resorts and sexy hotels when on travel. Never did i expect something of this kind from them. The Room was scary and looked like a 19th century old murky inn, with atrocious ventilation and a rock hard medical bed. Sleep eluded me yet again with a very important interview skeduled for the morning. Being post midnight, i was also not able to meet my counterparts from IIMs who have come down for the same interview. Watching sony TV for a while was good enug to put me back into a long sleep.

I slept till 10 AM without even having the slightest clue, thanks to my perenially dark room. With 2 more hours left for reporting at HLL, i managed to catch up with the other b-skoolers. I am not a food freak, but would not mind that extra bit of travelling for a better food. My room-boy promised a south indian breakfast, down the end of Pandey Road in Colaba. I walked down all the way and the learning that i got out of it was, "Never go by a north indian's Perception of a south indian food". It was not even close to the worst breakfasts that you'll get in chennai.

Most of us who were appearing for interview that day were against sporting a formal blazer. Hence, we all formed a cartel and decided agsint wearing the same. It was 12:30 PM and i presented myself in the backbay reclamation complex(Head office - HLL). We were taken thro some small presentations of what HLL had planned for the next year's summers and instructions regarding the interview. We were also told that two of the interview panelists are a little tuf to handle and hence the only way through was to "play it safe". I was not expecting a stress interview here as i felt that the stage was entirely different and i have done well to have made it into HLL following a 40 minute interview during SIP and a 2 months of some real good work.

My Number kab aayega ? I was the third one to be interviewed. Niharika, a gal from IIM L went in first and stormed out happily. She seemed to have had a very warm and friendly conversation. Sachin from FMS was the next to go. I was sitting in the lounge looking at the funky Unilever wall papers decorating the massive wall in my front. The women in the wallpaper was very skimpily dressed, but had a spark on her eyes. Despite her outfit, she ever looked hot, but rather was really cute and graceful(just like the erstwhile 'Liril' models). As I was glancing through the other images, the silence was broken by sachin's footsteps. He walked out with a rather bewildered look. Looked like the panelist were in a mood to grill and stress.

"Better the panelist pick me, or else they are gonna miss out on a CEO material", i told myself and was not able to control my instant laughter that had to be shed for that comment. After a couple of minutes, my Super-Duper Senior (Ajay Kumar of Batch of 1994), one of the panelists for my interview, walked out and escorted me into the a small room, where the other two members were warming up for the war.

Panelist 1: Jayaram .... krishnan ... bala .... subra .... manian (OMG ! he has done it). You have got a complicated name. How do people address you ?? (So, he was sure that people are not insane to call me this way)

I had been so used to this question these days. Right from my batchmates, to my collegues, to professors, my name had been subjected to constant analysis and ridcule. I try explaining my bad fate to them and request them to address me as JK (i love being called this way)

Panelist 2: That sounds like some DON material (All of them began giggling ... I felt like a Joker, as Father Jesurajan would love to address me as)

P1: What is the difference between Red Label and 3 Roses ?

There goes the missile .... Its time to pour down all my research and analysis at the given opportunity. People who know me certify that i speak(gas) a lot, though making sense or not in out of the question. But, Fact has clearly been that i try hard, but cannot be crisp. I began flaunting my knowledge on the brand and take them thro the history of the brand. Little did i realise that they had been with HLL more than i have been :)

P1: (interrupts me half way) JK, Have you heard of a story of a poor kid which has mugged up some answers for the exam. When he looks at the answer paper, he is shocked to find a different question. So, so save his skin, he lands up vomitting the same stuff he read for any question thrown. Such is your answer.

I continued from where i left and tried to justify my long answer. Happy as usual, I managed to rattle away all the gyan. There was a point of time when i used to take things personally and make all the attempt of the interviewer to stress me super sucessful. All it required was a fight with Jesurajan in one XLRI interview where he apparently showed me the door. Thanks to his usual ways, i have learned to smile even when the interviewer is tearing my self esteem into pieces.

P1: JK, You really are a kid and you need to really grow up to take an FMCG career.

I knew he was stressing me out. I was puzzled as to "why was he doing it now?". I reassured myself that i am gonna crack it.

P2 comes up with an amaazing question and ask me to give an ethical response to the same. I goof it up a bit initally, but manage really well in the end. P2, smiles at me and gives the chance to the last guy (Senior HR Director - the XLRI guy). He questions me on my career options. Here is where i was so kicked and give the best possible answer. I thanked them all and walked out of the room. I gave the best i cud, but Somehow, the feeling of satisfaction and comfort was missing. The other 2 guys who had the interview after me also somehow felt horrible about the entire experience. Since the HR manager was not in town that evening, our results were also delayed. There was a 100 % conversion the week before and hence we had some hope left. The HR lady told us that she will hint on the results only in case all of us convert it.

This is where the real journey began .... When we called her up after 30 minutes, she was a bit dull and informed us that some of us din't make it and that the results were bad. We were able to sence that only one or two (man be even none) out of 5 of us have made it. With no authority to give out the results, she asked us to call up our placement office tomorrow to check the results. All of us immediately were put off and the situation suddenly changed from the noisy state to a morose and dull one. It was like breaking the whole love and interest in a specific career into shatters. I felt realy bad and these are something that really could do nothing about.

I was confident and passionate, but really was unsure if i would be among the minority who have made it. HLL was not something which happened to me by chance. It was conscious choice and a sheer desire to make it there. Lots of struggles have gone into it, especally with a average Pedigree, normal CV and a very modest set of shortlist during SIP. Lots of sleepless nights spent on doing arbit brand searches, company study and stupid brand trivia. I related more to this field and really felt that i will make it big here. 40 minutes of very stresful interview followed by 2 months of lovely project, HLL was dream place to be in. There is no other company which i have heard about as an 8 year old kid.

Again, it was not a 2 month stuff. It all began in 29th September when i was offered a summer project, I began understanding the company and their business. It continued into the summers and post summers till my final PPO interview. It was 10 month long relationship nurtured purely by passion and emotions. I had never been in love, but fear of losing this offer at this stage felt like a huge love failure for me. It felt like being ditched by your gal friend after being in relationship for 10 months, just because she was not happy with the last 20 minutes of conversation she had with you. I was not shown the door officially, but the thoughts of unfairness and sadness had already inundated my mind.

When it began to get on to our nerves, We decided to go out so that we dont spend the rest of the day brooding over it in our rooms. 3 Of us (Joel and Sachin being the others) stepped out of that goddamn hotel and moved towards the fort area. We were hungry and got into a nice looking pastery shop. All of us ordered exotic looking pasteries, but none of us had the mood to eat. The common thread of dissapointment, Sad faces and confused expressions said it all. There was no converstion happening and each of us were in our own world, depressed about the hanging fate.

From the Pastry shop -> chat shop -> gateway of india -> mondys, we had nothing to talk about. Looking at each other and breaking the silence with painful PJs, it felt like 3 of us will go mad if we let this thing get on to our head further. Hushidhar joined us at 9 PM in Mondys. In the meantime, i had called up my parents, close friends and cribbed to all of them and almost asked all of them to write-off the HLL thing. I was not underconfident, but i was not able to be optimistic in such a scenario. That was when i really missed sathish and gayathri. I wanted to speak to one of them and pour it out, but was not ready to do it over phone. As a Respite, I shifted my attention towards the beer at Mondy's for venting out all my frustrations on.

I was never a beer drinker and in a bad mood, i literally forced the firt mug down my throat. That was when Ashish (Sachin's friend employed with GSER) joined us. The first beer began to work. I suddenly felt better and began feeling optimistic about my chances. Thats the magic of daaru. In limited quantites, they really boost your morale like hell. I had another mug and felt like the country head of HLL. Another one made me the CEO.

I remembered the first panelist's face and recollected what he told me ... "JK, you are really a kid" .... "BALLS", I said and drowned one full mug in one swift motion. The Guys were looking at me in surprise ... Then all of us had another bottomsup for bad interviews. I had another one for XLRI and stopped it there due to lack of space in my system. That had counted to 6 Mugs, which was more than a pitcher. Shit ! that was almost equal to the accumulated count of beer i have had so far. However, It felt nice with a small High & a happy mind( i never got reminded of my HLL interview). Then we drove for a while in ashish's Car, stopped over in the worli sea face for a while and then drove back to hotel. I crashed immediately and had a peaceful sleep, thanks to kingfisher.

I was woken up early in the morning and driven to the airport by my dad's driver in mumbai. Sitting for 3 hours in mumbai airport and on air to Calcutta for another 3 hours was painfull. I had no clue of whats gonna happen. I knew i could crack any company as good as HLL if not better. But somehow, i had gotten so emotionally attached to this company, that i was unwilling to accept a NO from them. I had no clue of what lunch was i served. My concentration was missing and a sleep was too distant for my disturbed mind. I landed up Calcutta airport and figured out that the results have not yet been sent to the campus.

Things back in the campus began to haunt me. The excessive hype that was associated with my offer and the confidence that people had on me made me more insecure. I really didnt wanna face my batch as a loser. I began overloading my mind with so many things. Suddenly everything looked bleak. But, i had made up my mind. At the end of the day, if it had to happen, it will happen.

After an hour, i landed up in the food plaaza at Howrah. I cant forget those 2 hours i spent there. I sat there after ordering a lassi, when Rahul called me to inform me about HLL making me a final offer. Shit ! i did not know how to react. I had almost written it off ! I jumped, shouted, howled and blushed. All of a sudden, all that i had gone through for these 20 odd hours turned foolish and childish. I called up all the close ones to share the great news. I was so embaressed when tears rolled down my cheeks while i was talking to my dad. I now knew what this offer meant to me and realised the level of attachment i had with the company and line of business. It was a moment of glory, especially when you had beeen one of the two who actually made it ... Feelings and the fear that i had for the last few hours looks overdone. But, HLL was special for me and to me everything was justified.

It has been a month past after that haunting 20 hours of pain, anguish and agony. Life had become really cool after the PPO. People used to tell me that hardwork pays, and Yes ! It did ! Looking back feeels great ... It was a battle very well fought. To end it all ... Nothing comes with out a price. So did my dream offer !

~ JK